Is it me…or them!!!
Seeing it so frequently, going through it over and over makes me really wonder, is it me or the others? Is it me who expects a lot, and consider the others are not giving me what I deserve, or is it me who gives more than I should do, and expects the same thing in return? Am I really who stands upside down, or the world is??
Each time, a person whom I consider to be a friend hurts me, I just try to find an excuse, and justify what he/she has done. I just keep on forgiving and passing on their mistakes, hoping that they did not mean it, and that they will not do it again. I always consider the good well behind their actions.
Sometimes I think it may be me, who is mistaken, and if I could, I take the advice of unbiased person, to make sure that I did nothing wrong, and if I found it was my fault, apology is what I do with no hesitation.
I never thought not finding the ppl I considered to be my friends next to me when needed is such a killing feeling, I have never seen that day coming, I counted on the saying that life is an echo for our actions, and thought I will get the support I provided over and over to those ppl. But it seems I have been mistaken, extremely mistaken.
Strange how someone you consider as your best friend, and you ready to do every thing you could do to help, and one day, you discover it was a one way feeling, it is one side giving relationship.
The funny thing is that you get surprised by ppl you thought you mean nothing to them, they show you their concern once you need it, and they offer you help, that you expected from others, but never found it.
Should I thank life that shows me the real sides of ppl, or should I hate myself for believing in good in ppl? Should I stop being me? Should I stop thinking of others, and start to care only about me?? Really don't know the answers, but what I know is that I stopped feeling happy or sad for ppl, I even started to wish ppl will go through the misery I'm living, really hate ppl, and have no trust in others…. And what I know is that this is not me!!